The Good, the Bad & the Ugly

Sometimes something happens that just knocks you for six. For the past few years, I've had a very ordered life. I was in control of, well, practically everything I could be in control of. And then recently, something happened that took that 'control' out of my hands. I didn't like it. I still don't like it. It made me feel sad and upset and devastated and awful. I didn't think I could cope. But with the help of my ever-present circle of friends, I think I'll eventually be ok. But it's going to take time.

In the meantime, I'm trying to keep my mind off things by keeping myself as busy as I can. Doing things I enjoy so I can stop thinking. To that aim, yesterday I went to one hell of a party at the Blonde's place. The company yesterday was just amazing, the food really yummy and the booze... well, let's just say that there was more than enough of it. I really had a good time. I think all this going out, enjoying myself is some kind of defense mechanism to stop me feeling like shit. I did have a little cry on the Blonde's shoulder in her room for 2 minutes and she held my hand and gave me a big hug. As did practically everyone else at the party. I'm a lucky girl in this respect I guess.

Of course, every silver lining has a cloud and so this morning I woke up, after about four hours sleep, with the mother of all hangovers (for me anyway!) and a cold/hay fever which means blocked nose, sneezing, sore throat, the works. Oh well! Maybe I should go and have some rest before I have to face school tomorrow...