Ch... ch... ch... changes

It's been a weird couple of months. But then mine is a weird life. I guess it is all par for the course when you are a bit of a 'different' person. And anyone who is involved in the arts/theatre is a bit 'different', don't let people tell you otherwise.

Let's see... a year ago I was teaching drama, not going out much, spending a lot of time at home, settled, planning on having a family within the next couple of years. I had lost touch with a lot of friends and had stopped doing theatre altogether. I was... well I guessed I thought I was content. Bored but content.

Then in summer I did 'The Merry Wives of Windsor', mainly because I had a good part and nothing else to do. I enjoyed it very much but went straight back into my old rut as soon as the run was over.

Then came 'Some Explicit Polaroids' and I can say that for the first time in ages, I felt alive again. I can't even begin to express what that play meant to me. Being on stage and doing so well in the part of Nadia; connecting with the rest of the cast, director and producer... well, it was magical. It felt right. I guess I could tentatively say that I was happy. And if you know me well, you know how difficult it is for me to admit that. I started going out again, rediscovered my old friends and made some fantastic new ones.Then, 'things' started happening. I won't say if they were good or bad because good things sometimes come out of bad ones and vice-versa. Maybe, it all started when I was bitten by a dog in September (sounds like the beginning of a joke or something but my hand was rather badly injured and I still bear the scars months later).

Then after the 2nd weekend of the play in October, I finished up in hospital and we had to cancel the 3rd weekend of 'Polaroids'. That nearly finished me off at the time, I was so disappointed. But the reason I was in hospital was actually way worse than the mere cancellation of three performances. Again, those of you who know me know what I went through. And I don't think that I have even started to deal with what happened. Maybe one day soon I will and that day is not going to be a good one.

Then my hubby gets offered a job in London and, after we discuss it, he accepts. It has been his dream for ages and I wouldn't dream of even thinking of stopping him. But it happened so fast and he left this week. I'm still in shock I think. I'm staying here at least for now. I have work, commitments, things to do. I can't, and don't, want to leave for now at least. Many of my friends think I am mad, but I actually do like it here! Maybe later, when hubby is settled (and making pots of money hehe)... but for now I am taking each day as it comes and not thinking too much of the future. But however I put it, things have changed. And I'm not too good with change. I have had to learn how to change the cats' litter for goodness sake, and have to wake up early to put the rubbish out tomorrow (both the hubby's domain till now)! We'll still be seeing quite a lot of each other - thank goodness for cheap flights and also for MSN live chat and a webcam - but basically, I have to re-learn how to live on my own and not really have anyone to rely on for a while.

Another set-back is that I was cast for a musical due to be put on in March... and have now been uncast. Long story. So i was quite at a loose end re: what to do with myself. Was scared I'd end up in my usual rut of work, home and work again. Then someone else offered me a part in a play in January but I had to decline due to scheduling difficulties.

Which brings me to now. The day I declined the part, I got a phone call with an offer to direct a play at St James next January/February after the original director had to drop out. And I said yes. I must be mad! I've only ever directed once, at the Manoel Theatre when I was a naive 20 year old (I actually turned 20 during rehearsals!) One of my actors was Victor Debono who acted alongside me in 'Polaroids'.. things really came full circle there!Anyhow, here I am, ready to have my first rehearsal as a director for a play called 'Audacity' tomorrow (link has not yet been updated). And boy am I terrified. I feel like such a fraud! "What do I know about directing?" is a question I ask myself at least 20 times a day. At least, I am lucky to have a cast i like and trust and plenty of experienced people (hello Chris Gatt!) to help me, I hope, apart from the support of my far-off hubby and friends of course!

I've also been cast in a play in March called 'Life x 3' and I'm really looking forward to that.

As I said... it's a heck of a weird life I live. It's also exciting in a way I guess. I dunno... we'll see.

Wish me luck!