the domestiC AcTresS

Stay at home with the cats... or act on stage. My lifelong dilemma.

Sunday, December 10, 2006

Livin' on my own

*title to be sung a la Freddie Mercury*

So, it's been almost 2 weeks since hubby left for distant shores and... well, I'm Sill Standing (am listening to Elton John - always reminds me of that glorious concert he gave in Malta where I was working front of house and got to watch the concert from the very front, a few metres away from the man himself - good times).Of course, since it's me... various things have gone wrong in these 2 weeks...

Last week, I took the rubbish out at 6.30 am for the first time since... well, the first time ever actually. Lugged this enormous rubbish bag full of cat litter, pee and poo down the stairs, as it was really heavy. Of course, halfway down, the bag split all over my stairs with the pee and the... well, you get my drift. I swore so loudly and badly that I am sure I was heard miles away. The hubby probably heard me, I was so loud. The cats looked at me curiously as I swept it all up. I swear they were sniggering. And then I swore some more.

The downstairs bathroom heater has gone mad. First it wouldn't heat up. Now it is heating up to much which meant I nearly killed myself whenI had a shower a few days agp. I scalded my legs and they looked like over-heated bricks. Now the upstairs one has developed a leak. I can see the future and it entails me writing a big fat cheque to a plumber. Screw my degree in journalism/communications, I knew I should have become a plumber or an electrician instead.

But the really good story is this one... one morning last week I was speaking to someone on my mobile when the doorbell rang. It was the postman with a delivery. I stepped outside for a second to the package and a gust of wind slammed the door behind me. You know that feeling when something goes wrong and your heart kinda stops? Well, that's exactly how I felt. My key and hubby's key were inside and the only other person who had a key was unavailable when I called. Panic! Or rather, I should have panicked but I didn't (I'm a self-confessed panicker) so I was very proud of myself. I took a deep breath and rang both my neighbours' doorbells thinking that I'd somehow go through their house and get in through my roof window which had an insect screen on it. But no-one answered. So there I was in my tatty jogging suit and slippers and it was just about to rain when... one of my neighbours came out of her door - she hadn't heard the doorbell before. We went up to her roof and she gave me a gi-normous knife (I am never messing about with my neighbours! Actually they are lovely) to hack through the insect screen - thank goodness I had put it up or I might still be outside waiting for a locksmith or a miracle.

On to today. One of the cats was constipated which doesn't surprise me since, in the past week, he has eaten a large portion of my bedspread and quite a big piece of the rug found in the washroom (he likes roughage apparently). So after days of not answering the call of nature, he had a nice big green poo... which got stuck to his bottom. He didn't like this, so he ran around the house trying to scrape it off on every available surface. I was shrieking at him to stop and running behind him, which actually made him run even faster. I eventually caught up with him and wiped his bottom while, the other cat looked at me and sniggered (again). I then had to disinfect the whole house. And how was your Sunday?!


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