Grrrr!

Yesterday, the hubby and I went to watch 'Two' at St James Cavalier. What a great performance from the Pea and Edward Mercieca! Of course they were lucky to have a brilliant script to work with but still, they really, really did it justice. For those of you who don't know, the play, by Jim Cartwright, is a series of vignettes set in a pub in the northern part of the UK. The characters are made up of the owners of the pub and their clients... but the twist is that all the characters are played by just two actors, hence the name. It's on tonight and next weekend so, go and watch it.

Years ago I had played one of the characters, Maudie, at St James during a performance which stemmed from a workshop by Masquerade - what a hoot it was! I muttered all the lines under my breath as the Pea said them (completely silently of course!) But my favourite sketch by far was the one where Pea and Edward played a married couple watching TV in the pub. I laughed so much - it was just so cute and well-written and acted!

But the evening was marred somewhat by the following incident: while Edward was playing a particularly poignant character (a man whose wife had died), a mobile phone went off. Silently. So you might think that was ok. But the a**hole owner of said mobile actually answered his phone. Can you believe that?!! One of the most unforgettable, sad, quiet bits of the play and someone upstairs answers his bloody phone with 'Yes?!' and 'I'll talk to you later' and bla bla bla.

I swear, I had to grip the sides of my chair to stop myself going upstairs, hurling this idiot's mobile phone downstairs and watching it smash to pieces. I do believe that if I had, I would have gotten a huge round of applause too! Honestly, it's bad enough that people answer their phones at the cinema, but during a live performance? For crying out loud.

It reminded me of another incident that I experienced first-hand a couple of years ago when I took part in the play 'Five Kinds of Silence', also at St James. Now, this play is about a father raping his two daughters systematically during their lives so, as you can imagine, it was not exactly a barrel of laughs. As for me (I played one of the daughters, Susan) it was one of the most challenging, satisfying roles I have ever played. It really was a difficult character to play and after every performance I would be drained and exhausted. And so would most of the audience, as it was very emotional.

So you can imagine how I (and the rest of the cast) felt when, just before one performance, a woman walked in, sat down and started talking to her handbag. Yes, her handbag. Then she had a (one-way) chat with some of the people around her. Them she talked a bit to her programme.

We were terrified that she would do something equally as strange, or worse, during the performance itself. All through the play, all the cast was very tense, almost upset, because we knew that if she interrupted even one minute of the play, the magic would be lost. In fact, I remember the director, tony bezzina, standing next to her throughout the performance, ready to yank her out of the theatre if anything happened. Thank goodness, she seemed riveted throughout the performance and didn't make a sound. But I know exactly how Edward must have felt yesterday, which is perhaps why I was/am so livid.

I hope Adrian Buckle, the producer, got a good look at this man and will ban him from all future Unifaun performances! In fact, if Chris Gatt or anyone from St James is reading this, perhaps you might consider banning this individual from St James altogether. Grrrr!